Archive for January, 2010

A Whole New Year

January 16, 2010

I’ve made a little more progress on my 101 list, but I’ll put up details about that later this weekend.

Now a full two weeks into the new year, it seems an appropriate time to contemplate the year ahead without any of the buzz and hype of the whole “new year’s resolutions” crowd. Reflecting on the past few months, life has been hard in some ways. My not-exactly-a-relationship has officially fallen apart, my aunt may never be able to eat solid food again due to complications from her cancer and treatment, and I just found out tonight that one of my best friends had a double mastectomy yesterday and I didn’t even know she had been diagnosed with breast cancer because she and her husband didn’t want to tell anyone until after the surgery. Thankfully, it went smoothly and her prognosis is very good.

It’s hard to be halfway across the country when people I care deeply about are experiencing such major events in their lives, and sometimes I have to remind myself that even if I were there, there’s not a whole lot I could do on a day-to-day basis. So I try to call and check in, and make sure they know how much they mean to me. What else can I realistically do? I hope they know how much I care.

Looking to the days and weeks and months ahead, 2010 stretches before me like a vast wilderness… one that I don’t know how to handle except by taking it just one step at a time, one day at a time. Tonight my long-term goals feel very far away and I’m content to just sit at home by myself and think about the day. I am grateful for the long weekend ahead, and for the Chris and Paul Show tomorrow night, and for Katy Pfaffl’s friends and family gig on Sunday. I breathe deeply and slowly and just take it all in, feeling life wrap its arms around me and hold me close. It is strangely comforting.

Moving forward, I plan to take a long, hard look at my lifestyle and eating habits. I want to use my time wisely to make myself strong and healthy and happy. I want to be physically and emotionally empowered, ready to be there for my friends and family when they need me. I want to laugh and love and cry and hope and dream with all my heart.

Happy 2010.